Morning

Morning filled with memories of a night of dreams.
Is it hard to get up? - a little.
My feathered friends already tweet outside my windows.
Every morning it gets brighter and brighter. Good to remember and appreciate.
Coffee is in demand this morning, every morning. Aahh.
I enjoy the stillness of the morning
Before the face of God.
The bible on the screen of my iPhone
and His name on my lips.

Present

I am present in the present tense, but am I a present to anyone? I cannot present myself well enough to the public if I am not clear on who I really am. To be present to another is vital for life. Noone is an island. Present present present. If I am not present I am not. If I am not present I could as well be dead. Let people know you are present. Presently. You are a present to your neighbors, You have to believe that. It is not a haughty self promotion, it is a reality in social life. Then be as observant and as considerate as you can to be that precious present.

Find

It has been the fight of my life to find myself. Who am I, why am I here, does anybody care? I have never been good at socializing and bonding, getting friends, so I have mostly done the search alone, which has not made it easier.
When I found Jesus, or I let Him find me, some parts of the puzzle were revealed. But still, how can it be that I am so awkward, why am I so indifferent towards people and projects? Why do I hurt people so much with my selfishness and evilness? And how do I become a better person?
Now the search mostly has become a prayer for help, and it is up to Jesus if He wants me to find more of me on this side of eternity. I try to rest in the knowledge that He has found me.

Try

Just eat a bite. You don't know if you like it if you do not try to taste it! Many parents will know this phrase. As an adult I also have to remind myself that I have to try things out. I have to get out of my confort zone and get my hands dirty by trying. The reality is the test of all things. Our thoughts need the test of reality to become to life, and I don't know the outcome of the thoughts if they remain thoughts in my mind. I have to try to speak out forgiveness towards the person who hurt me. I have to try taking contact in order to get a new friend. I have to try painting that painting, writing that letter, At least just try. It may be the path for your greatest break through!

Hope

"I hope for rain tomorrow; my lawn is yellow from draught". But I am not certain it is going to rain. The worldly hope has its root in sin, we hope for a better world in the near or distant future. But because sin reigns we cannot be certain.
When Paul writes about faith, hope and love in 1Corinthians 13:13 it is the hope God gives. God cannot lie, so if He gives hope, it is a sure thing. Hope is fulfilled, God is to be praised!
The Christian hope is anchored in God's love and in faith in God. We may not doubt God, but hold fast in the hope He gives. All that the Lord does has it basis in love, His love which never fails. Love is the greatest, says Paul. For God is love.
Without love no faith and no hope. We would be lost and forever doomed to live in our sinful self, pityful and detestable. Hope gives future a meaning, as does faith in God and His love. It gives me such comfort, a warm feeling, something to stay alive for and something to die for. I am grateful that I am so much loved although I never deserved to be. Hope is the result of God's decision for us!

Gift

What do you give to the man/woman who has everything? A common question to be posed - and a question to be posed to people of this world who believe to have it all; even heaven itself!
Before I was saved I did not think I had it all, but I was certain that I had heaven before me; that happy ever after in the sky. After my salvation I slowly learned that I did not have it all, and that my natural expectation of being heaven bound was vain and presumptious without guarantees.
The realization that I had presumed wrongly about my eternal citizenship came gradually. The first sensation and realization that Jesus brought me was that Jesus loves me and is alive in me and my world. It was a completely unexpected gift. A foretaste of heaven inside me.
By reading the Bible I learned about my sinful nature and how lost I am without Jesus. I learned that the gift of grace, freedom from sin, salvation,and heaven is the greatest gift of all. And I am awestricken!
I have also learned that the first year's sensation is not something I can expect here. I am on a travel in enemy territory, and it is not always a pleasure. But the gift of faith makes the travel possible and worthwile. I have learned that all I have is Jesus, and that He has promised to be with me eternally.
The gift of heaven is being unwrapped during my walk, and I have learned and will experience that this gift is incomprehensible, that I will never receive any greater gift. Heaven equals Jesus, Jesus equals love. The perfect gift!

Hide

I hide myself in you God. In the shadow of your wings that's where I want to stay forever. Hide me from the evil that lives in me. Thank you that I am forgiven, that I am set free. I have to remind myself of this every day, and you, dear Holy Spirit keep on reminding me of this treasure, this out of the box transcendent freeing fact. I am free in you, Jesus! You hide me through the storms of life. In your tranquil love I live and breathe. It is the only place I can live and breathe. In the raging storms, when everything around me seems to go absolutely bankrupt, when everything seems to fall apart, then I am in your arms, in the stillness close to your heart. Make my heart, my whole being more like your heart, Lord. I am yours. In the hiding place. Hidden inside of your love, in your forgiveness, in your grace. Forgetting all that is behind, all I see is You!

Tomorrow

I have just discovered "Five Minute Friday" which is a blog link-up in which you participate by writing for five minutes each Friday on the prompt of the week . Now I do feel a bit intimidated because I only see women on display there. But nowhere I see it expressed as a women-only community. So I take the plunge and try to write for five minutes on the one word prompt of the week: "Tomorrow". If I am in the wrong, somebody please tell me, and I will start a blog link-up for men!

Tomorrow has always been a magical word for me. Tomorrow I will do the things that really needed to be done today. Tomorrow has been misused and abused. A prompt for procrastination.

Within the last few years I have learned that it is typical for people like me who suffer from depression or bipolar to be procrastinating. It is soothing to know that I am not alone in that respect. It is not the ultimate sin. But neither is it a legal excuse nor should it be taken lightly "Oh, I suffer from depression so I procrastinate and I can't help it. I can live with it - so you, who are suffering at the expense of my procrastination - you just have to live with it as well". I have to make a way out of tomorrow and stay in today with all its feelings of being in a no comfort zone for action. Beginning today! Today I will do one thing to make me stay on track for today's tasks.

Recently I have bought some watches, pilotes watches, which were produced as collector's items. They were claimed to be quality watches, so I decided to buy them. What a big disappointment when I found out that they were not at all quality. I have decided to give in a complaint on the web site of the company where I bought the watches. Up until now I have postponed it to tomorrow for several days. This I have to do today!

Then yesterday I told my colleague about the watches. He told me he had a watch in his car which I could borrow. When he came back with it he said that I could keep it.

I was stunned and very thankful. God knew my situation and provided the perfect solution to it. The watch is a beautiful blue face Casio Oceanus. It is water resistant and it automatically synchronizes with the Japanese, the American or the European time signal. In short - it is a quality watch. It has the ability to keep me focused on today. The right time is today, not tomorrow. In a worn out phrase: Carpe Diem. I have the responsibility to not postpone to tomorrow what I can do today. So help me God and use my Casio Oceanus to stay on track.

P.S. As a sidenote I right now stumbled upon this blog post http://onethingalone.com/how-to-stop-procrastinating-and-take-action/ which has this graphic imbedded. Amazing!

Oh - and I have to admit I used far more than five minutes. English is not my first language, and this is my first attempt so what do I have to sacrifice to stay within the five minutes - meaning or clarity of thought and language? I decided to not sacrificing anything.