Find

It has been the fight of my life to find myself. Who am I, why am I here, does anybody care? I have never been good at socializing and bonding, getting friends, so I have mostly done the search alone, which has not made it easier.
When I found Jesus, or I let Him find me, some parts of the puzzle were revealed. But still, how can it be that I am so awkward, why am I so indifferent towards people and projects? Why do I hurt people so much with my selfishness and evilness? And how do I become a better person?
Now the search mostly has become a prayer for help, and it is up to Jesus if He wants me to find more of me on this side of eternity. I try to rest in the knowledge that He has found me.

Try

Just eat a bite. You don't know if you like it if you do not try to taste it! Many parents will know this phrase. As an adult I also have to remind myself that I have to try things out. I have to get out of my confort zone and get my hands dirty by trying. The reality is the test of all things. Our thoughts need the test of reality to become to life, and I don't know the outcome of the thoughts if they remain thoughts in my mind. I have to try to speak out forgiveness towards the person who hurt me. I have to try taking contact in order to get a new friend. I have to try painting that painting, writing that letter, At least just try. It may be the path for your greatest break through!